You are hereHeartbeat Submissions
Heartbeat Submissions
-
i have no title
DD student
Monday October 20, 2008 (0 comments) View comments
sometimes i feel so lost. i have no clue if im doing anything right in my life. i dont know what im here for. i almost expect some sort of answer to pop into my head like a light bulb, like "oh yeah! of course, this is what im supposed to be doing in my life." i know it doesnt happen like that and sometimes the thought of going through another, what? possibly 50, 60 years? with this overwhelming sense of...inertia dragging at me is almost unbearable. does it ever get easier? do you ever know that youre doing something right and not just going through the motions? i feel so meaningless.
-
Let me tell you about my father
DD student
Tuesday September 16, 2008 (0 comments) View comments
When I was a little girl I liked to go to the bank with my father. While he was busy making mysterious adult transactions I neither understood nor cared about, I would cling to the lip of the teller's desk and study the alien landscape of nameplates and lollipops--you know, the little Dum Dum pops that have probably presided over teller's desks since time began. (My father always went for the Cream Soda. I myself was a Butterscotch girl.) The little silver chain that tethered the pens to their posts fascinated me. I used to twirl them on the desk and watch them move like snakes. Yes, it's safe to say I loved going to the bank with my dad.
One afternoon my dad and I were waiting in a particularly tense and busy line; you know the type I mean. People were hot and impatient wanting to get their shit done and go home. Not the kind of setting for life-defining inspiration, but that's where it happened I guess. There was a man at the counter in front of us and he was angry. He was very angry and he was taking it out on the teller. I don't remember exactly what he was saying, childhood has skewed that memory, but I have a distinct impression of the grim tension swirling around the forest of adult bodies above me. This was not a pleasant scene and no one was doing anything to change it.
But let me tell you about my father. He shook his head and stepped forward and walked right up to the very angry man, who could have had a gun or a knife or a really accurate uppercut. My father walked up to him and said something like "Hey man, she's just doing her job so back off and cool down a little, alright?" Nothing too sensational. The man got flustered and stormed off, no knives or punches or fanfare. Do you know what the people in line did?
They clapped. Every one of them clapped.
I can't describe what that did to me or why I still tear up every time I think about it. I don't know why it moves me so, this little memory of a man standing up for something, even if the something was only the dignity of a young woman being heckled. I was so proud of him, and proud to be his daughter. I told him he was a hero. He just laughed.
But then, that's my father for you.
-
God Vs. Religion - a rant.
DD student
Wednesday August 20, 2008 (3 comments) View comments
Hypocrite. What a harsh word. What's even more harsh is that lately the word is being thrown around with blatant disregard to its meaning. In my eyes, everyone is a hypocrite in some way or another, just as everyone is a liar in some way or another and just as everyone is greedy in some way or another, and just the way everyone is perfect in some way or another. People are so diverse and complicated, physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually that a standard for perfection is impossible, let alone a double standard that people label as hypocrisy.
Christians are probably given the label of 'hypocrite' more often than anyone. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, my God, who died for my sins, and secured my place in heaven - just to clear that up. However, I hate religion. A structured religion just doesnt seem to work in today's world because of the diversity aforementioned. Sometimes I go to church. Honestly, it's for the bible study and the opinions and friendship of the other people there - not because my faith in God relies upon my attendance. I've never worn anything nicer than jeans and a t-shirt to church, because there's really no reason, God's in my heart anyway, I dont think it matters how nice i dress.
Alright, i ranted there about myself. Back to the label of hypocrite. Christians suck. For the most part, they go about living as christians all wrong. Christian was originally a term to mean "christ like," right? So isnt the point to live like christ did? Did jesus ever put on his suit and sit in a structured church telling people about miracles? Not from what i've read (and i don't pretend to be a bible genius, a lot of you could probably school me, but i try) Jesus WAS the church. He spoke his word and brought the miracles to the people. Christians label themselves as "christian" and talk about not sinning and how you need to live a good life. Did jesus ask the blind man if he'd been "good" like he was Santa writing his list? No. He cured him because the man asked for it.
What I wish some people would realize is that, yes, being "good" is important to some extent, but it's really not about being perfect - a task man surrendered when given Free Will - it's about having faith, surrendering one's life to the God who died for the forgiveness of sins. Ephesians 2.8-9 says "It is by Grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works." (this is my favorite bible verse btw, I got it tattooed on me) It really restates my point. When someone gives you a gift, it isnt that you asked for it (if it is a real gift) and it isnt that you deserved it. Grace is so amazing (hence the song) because it is an undeserving gift from God that forgives us of all of our wrongs. "not by works" - whatever you do to live a good life, it irrelevant if you dont accept that God has given you the gift of his love and forgiveness.
"Christians say one thing and do another." The bible says to accept Jesus's forgiveness. Christians say to live a good life, and yet they sin. If we didnt sin, we wouldnt need forgiven, right? So where's the hypocrisy?
If anyone thinks that anyone else claims to be perfect, she or he needs to engage in some conversation with that person. I have met some seriously vain people, but I have yet to meet a single person who believes that he or she is perfect (christian or not).
I'd really love some response on this, I'm not perfect.
-
God Vs. Religion - a rant.
DD student
Wednesday August 20, 2008 (3 comments) View comments
Hypocrite. What a harsh word. What's even more harsh is that lately the word is being thrown around with blatant disregard to its meaning. In my eyes, everyone is a hypocrite in some way or another, just as everyone is a liar in some way or another and just as everyone is greedy in some way or another, and just the way everyone is perfect in some way or another. People are so diverse and complicated, physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually that a standard for perfection is impossible, let alone a double standard that people label as hypocrisy.
Christians are probably given the label of 'hypocrite' more often than anyone. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, my God, who died for my sins, and secured my place in heaven - just to clear that up. However, I hate religion. A structured religion just doesnt seem to work in today's world because of the diversity aforementioned. Sometimes I go to church. Honestly, it's for the bible study and the opinions and friendship of the other people there - not because my faith in God relies upon my attendance. I've never worn anything nicer than jeans and a t-shirt to church, because there's really no reason, God's in my heart anyway, I dont think it matters how nice i dress.
Alright, i ranted there about myself. Back to the label of hypocrite. Christians suck. For the most part, they go about living as christians all wrong. Christian was originally a term to mean "christ like," right? So isnt the point to live like christ did? Did jesus ever put on his suit and sit in a structured church telling people about miracles? Not from what i've read (and i don't pretend to be a bible genius, a lot of you could probably school me, but i try) Jesus WAS the church. He spoke his word and brought the miracles to the people. Christians label themselves as "christian" and talk about not sinning and how you need to live a good life. Did jesus ask the blind man if he'd been "good" like he was Santa writing his list? No. He cured him because the man asked for it.
What I wish some people would realize is that, yes, being "good" is important to some extent, but it's really not about being perfect - a task man surrendered when given Free Will - it's about having faith, surrendering one's life to the God who died for the forgiveness of sins. Ephesians 2.8-9 says "It is by Grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works." (this is my favorite bible verse btw, I got it tattooed on me) It really restates my point. When someone gives you a gift, it isnt that you asked for it (if it is a real gift) and it isnt that you deserved it. Grace is so amazing (hence the song) because it is an undeserving gift from God that forgives us of all of our wrongs. "not by works" - whatever you do to live a good life, it irrelevant if you dont accept that God has given you the gift of his love and forgiveness.
"Christians say one thing and do another." The bible says to accept Jesus's forgiveness. Christians say to live a good life, and yet they sin. If we didnt sin, we wouldnt need forgiven, right? So where's the hypocrisy?
If anyone thinks that anyone else claims to be perfect, she or he needs to engage in some conversation with that person. I have met some seriously vain people, but I have yet to meet a single person who believes that he or she is perfect (christian or not).
I'd really love some response on this, I'm not perfect.
-
God Vs. Religion - a rant.
DD student
Wednesday August 20, 2008 (3 comments) View comments
Hypocrite. What a harsh word. What's even more harsh is that lately the word is being thrown around with blatant disregard to its meaning. In my eyes, everyone is a hypocrite in some way or another, just as everyone is a liar in some way or another and just as everyone is greedy in some way or another, and just the way everyone is perfect in some way or another. People are so diverse and complicated, physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually that a standard for perfection is impossible, let alone a double standard that people label as hypocrisy.
Christians are probably given the label of 'hypocrite' more often than anyone. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, my God, who died for my sins, and secured my place in heaven - just to clear that up. However, I hate religion. A structured religion just doesnt seem to work in today's world because of the diversity aforementioned. Sometimes I go to church. Honestly, it's for the bible study and the opinions and friendship of the other people there - not because my faith in God relies upon my attendance. I've never worn anything nicer than jeans and a t-shirt to church, because there's really no reason, God's in my heart anyway, I dont think it matters how nice i dress.
Alright, i ranted there about myself. Back to the label of hypocrite. Christians suck. For the most part, they go about living as christians all wrong. Christian was originally a term to mean "christ like," right? So isnt the point to live like christ did? Did jesus ever put on his suit and sit in a structured church telling people about miracles? Not from what i've read (and i don't pretend to be a bible genius, a lot of you could probably school me, but i try) Jesus WAS the church. He spoke his word and brought the miracles to the people. Christians label themselves as "christian" and talk about not sinning and how you need to live a good life. Did jesus ask the blind man if he'd been "good" like he was Santa writing his list? No. He cured him because the man asked for it.
What I wish some people would realize is that, yes, being "good" is important to some extent, but it's really not about being perfect - a task man surrendered when given Free Will - it's about having faith, surrendering one's life to the God who died for the forgiveness of sins. Ephesians 2.8-9 says "It is by Grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works." (this is my favorite bible verse btw, I got it tattooed on me) It really restates my point. When someone gives you a gift, it isnt that you asked for it (if it is a real gift) and it isnt that you deserved it. Grace is so amazing (hence the song) because it is an undeserving gift from God that forgives us of all of our wrongs. "not by works" - whatever you do to live a good life, it irrelevant if you dont accept that God has given you the gift of his love and forgiveness.
"Christians say one thing and do another." The bible says to accept Jesus's forgiveness. Christians say to live a good life, and yet they sin. If we didnt sin, we wouldnt need forgiven, right? So where's the hypocrisy?
If anyone thinks that anyone else claims to be perfect, she or he needs to engage in some conversation with that person. I have met some seriously vain people, but I have yet to meet a single person who believes that he or she is perfect (christian or not).
I'd really love some response on this, I'm not perfect.
-
Broken
DD student
Wednesday August 20, 2008 (1 comments) View comments
The wind taken from my sails
Everything fails
Fallen is my mast
Shattered like glass
Nothing left
Only Death -
Veil of Betrayal
DD student
Sunday August 3, 2008 (1 comments) View comments
Roses die
While Lovers lie
Unaware
Trapped in despair(sorry poetry not my strong suit)
-
Our Broken Sons...
DD student
Monday July 28, 2008 (0 comments) View comments
(This is an excerpt from a Spoken Word piece I've recently written...by most recent cry of the heart...)
"When they broke our sons
they convinced themselves
that the war was won
as the idea of stability
was all but shunned
but more stripped
from maternal fingers
dipped
in agony soon thereafter.
Broke our sons when they forced them to linger
ever after
in a womb coveted for saving
our broken sons.
Convinced the token’s won
when you keep the ebony busts of men
filled with life ‘til an aged bend.
…backs broken from bending in
wombs never built to last,
but to let go after childhoods pass
into a broken abyss.
Our broken sons learn this:
“We are broken to break our sons”
for one
and for second
“They break broken sons
to teach the lesson
to the broken.”
A token?
Follow the fad
of sheltering our lads
long enough to make ‘em
(them that break ‘em)
mad?
We win?
…forgetting that we the broken
sometimes are the first to break our kin,
we follow this course
as if we are subconsciously forced
to break our sons."-with divine purpose
Micah Spencer
